Lisi Lovers


This is Sarah's Lisi Lover entry...its like a diary entry by the main character Rachel so read her story and comment! Thanks!

March 23

7:24 No, I’ve never got detention in my life. No, I don‘t TRY to cause trouble. Yes, I was expelled. From 7 schools. I think it’s a talent. It started in 7th grade, two months after my 13th birthday. I was sitting in science, in my scratchy, ugly blue sweater and my uniform skirt and listening to a boring science teacher go on and on about homozygous and heterozygous genes. The lights were off while I was watching a power point with 22 other girls in the exact same outfit. Under my desk was a little metal box. I picked it up right as the bell rang. “Okay, we’ll finish this presentation tomorrow.” Said Mr. Ford in a monotone voice. Like I care. Seriously. I stuffed the little box which I had to decided to open later in my book bag and took off. I threw the whole bag in my locker and went to the auditorium for the career week speaker. Oh yes, we don’t have to suffer through just one day of it. No, every day from 1-3:20 we have to listen to 2 speakers for an entire week. That’s like….14 speakers each talking for almost 2 hours each! Today was the security guard from THE MUSEUM and the owner of this super-fancy restaurant. Everyone was all excited because they were bringing the drug-finding dog and they were going to do a sweep to demonstrate what the security guard does on a regular basis. They were going to show it live on the projector screen in the auditorium while the security guard and dog went down the locker hallways and had the dog sniff around. A couple of people got to go through the metal detector. The whole shebang. But believe me, I wasn’t as thrilled as the rest of the school. I mean, come on. If it was a public school, all this would happen on a regular basis! As if. Please, that school was a bubble. No one cussed. It used to be a HUGE deal if someone said crap. And if someone, God forbid, said the h-word? It was in the gossip column of the school paper. Anyway, they started the drug sweep and it was really boring. Watching a dog walk around is not as fun as it sounds. Everyone was just having their own conversations, despite the glares from our teachers. But then the drug dog started barking REALLY LOUD. Seriously. Like a freaking siren. I am not joking. And it was so loud you could hear it from the OTHER BUILDING, not just from the screen. He was making this scene right in front of this one locker and so the security people had to go get the principal, who was sitting in the auditorium with us and go up to the locker and the best part was that it was all caught on
tape. So the principal gets the key and unlocks the locker and I’m just sitting there in shock because that is MY LOCKER. Remember the little metal box? I almost didn’t. Seriously. I had totally forgot. But then the principal comes and it didn’t matter that I had just found it. Didn’t matter that I was a straight-A PLUS student. Drug possesion was an automatic expulsion. That’s the way my life since then had worked. Didn’t cause any trouble. Parpticipated in class. Never got detention. Nope! Just a string of wrong-place, wrong-time moments. And wouldn’t you know it, some stupid thing would be and automatic expulsion because of a person that didn’t go there anymore and at any other school it would just cause a admonishing look from a teacher. For example, at school number 4 AFE(After First Expulsion), I was taking vollyball for my elective. I was in 9th grade and I was outside on the and volleyball court. That’s another thing. I am always sent to private schools. Rich private schools, with things like indoor pools and movie theaters to show films and outside sand volleyball courts. Okay, so I was tossing the ball up and I hit it and it flew out into the street. How could it not? The school was 3 buildings on a giant circle of grass that contained the football fields, tennis courts and track. One time around the track was 2 miles because it went around the giant circle. Anyway, the whole thing was surrounded by a street that went all the way around the whole thing. The volleyball court was on the edge of the circle, but still surrounded by the track(which wasn’t very thick). So, anytime you hit the vollyball too far or too hard, the ball rolled into the street. I ran out to get it because there were no cars except for the parked ones, and it was second to last period, so not many cars were going to be coming in sometime soon. Unfourtunatly, when a ran out, I was spotted by a teacher who took me to the dean, who expelled me. See, about 5 years back, a girl had come to school for 1st period and snuck out at the end. As she was trying to run away from the school, she was going so fast that she couldn’t stop when she realized she was about to run into a car on the main street that connects to the circle driveway street. She went into a coma for 3 weeks and suffered serious brain damage. Therefore, any going into the streets without using one of the crosswalks and/or going into the streets during school hours when the school zone lights are not flashing results in an automatic expulsion. For safety, of course. Some people have just plain bad luck. I, however, have been in 5 other situations just like that(Some worse!). That’s not bad luck. That’s the gods’ little joke. Right now I’m at Clancey Addams Boarding school in New York. We ran out of private schools near Rustin, Connecticut, so rather than have my mom or dad make that long, 30 minute commute to a private school in Boston twice a day, they decided to ship me off to New York. Best boarding school in the USA, apparently. Thanks guys. Actually, I have almost made it through the whole year here. Lets see how it plays out. For now, I’ve got class. 11th grade math awaits! Later Chicadees!

*Mwah* - Rachael



Wed, 18 Jun 2008 22:18:37

gr8 story! so creatve...cant w8 2 hear more....hmmmm....only thing i think of is watch out for spelling and grammar (i know, boooooring) but hey it rocked! cant w8 2 hear the rest!



Thu, 19 Jun 2008 02:13:19

love it! 'can't wait to find out what happens next!



Thu, 19 Jun 2008 22:09:15

sorry, but it was kinda....ok....but mostly kinda run-on ish and annoying, u really need 2 xplain the characters more....dont get them @ all



Fri, 20 Jun 2008 12:00:46

2 many 'likes' and slang terms



Fri, 20 Jun 2008 12:02:05

2 much slang, kinda sloppy


Fri, 20 Jun 2008 12:04:26

did my comment thingy work? y doesnt it have a speech bubble....

2 much 'likes' and 'ums' and slang terms....



Fri, 20 Jun 2008 22:30:12

well, i thought it was good...kinda long, but really good! keep working

iluvzac, y did u comment the same thing thing 3 times??? sunk in enough?



Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:13:17

It was spossed to b written in slang because its supossed to be a real person writing a blog. and the spelling + grammer stuff was bcause i write late at night so....yeah
but thanks for the comments!!!


Sat, 05 Jul 2008 16:53:25

I really like where this story is going! However towards the middle I kind of drifted off. (more about that later) The thing is, I think you should have hit Enter a few times. It was a little hard to read with all the sentences bunched up together. I also think that suspension is more appropriate for running out into the street to get a volleyball. Yes, a girl did fall into a coma but it's not like this girl writing the blog did.

Also, the drifting off part? It didn't sink in much, what I read it. Someone got a box and put it in their locker and then...that's where I kind of fell asleep at my computer. It was very crowded so I just skimmed the sentences. Which is inevitable when it comes to busy paragraphs.

Good luck with your story! Hope my constructive feedback helped. :)


Wed, 13 Oct 2010 04:29:46

Great information put together well. As soon as i saw the headline i couldn't wait to get to start reading the comments.Thank you all so much for your comments and support.


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